innocent until proven guilty
this week is getting worse and worse by the minute. i am not only plagued by tons of deliverables, homeworks, projects and quizzes, but problems outside school as well.
yesterday, I entered this old classroom of mine and proceeded to my seat. i saw my kabarkada, who happens to be my seatmate, and decided to chat with her. She replied in a manner unusual of her. Since it was her defense that afternoon, i thought maybe that was the reason why she was pissed... So i decided not to bother her anymore. Later that period, a classmate of ours talked to her and i noticed the difference in her treatment of our classmate from the way she treated me..
I let it slip my mind for the evening since my mind is preoccupied with schoolwork until i woke up today. I texted my other kabarkada, knowing she'd know if the other is mad or not. She told me that she's not mad naman daw but is naguguluhan coz there were times daw that i'm not namamansin whilst i do sometimes..
I texted the kabarkada asking why she was like that yesterday and this is what she told me...
"Well, m nt really mad medjo naguguluhan na ko sa yo na minsan nakakainis na. sbi mo we're frnds, na i shud be open e parng ndi mo ko kaibgan, minsan kakausapin mo minsan ndi. do frnds do that?and to think na i thought u wer one of my closest frnds. mnsan its as if ndi mo ko kabrkada. kng meron man cgurong person na id feel comfy with kaw un pero i fil d opsite wd u. ung tipong naiilang. dfinitely uv changed. cguro dpat masanay na ko. dnt get me wrong. ndi ako nagseselos or kng anoman sa frnds mo. cguro kakaiba lng cya 4 me kc nga kabrkada kta. im nt saying dis para makipagaway. cnasbi ko wt i thnk nd fil."
o diba? this is too much to take on a single blow, especially if i'm not aware at all that she was feeling that way pala.. she judged me merely because of an instance or two that i snubbed her. it's not my fault naman that i have more friends than her. nevertheless, i never treated her any lesser. i mean come on more than half my life she was already there and now because of this she's upset na... maybe at those times she thought i snubbed her, i was feeling bad, but did she care to know that? no, she just assumed.... she must think really low of me...
in fairness to my other kabarkada, who kept on tellinmg me na i should talk to the other, i did the texting first even if i feel that i didn't do anything wrong because she reiterated to me na sayang naman kung may patampu-tampuhan pa... although i feel na it's always me who does the apologizing, i did. but to be perfectly honest, i wasn't comfortable doing it kasi i was hurt and i feel innocent of those accusations.
what would u feel if on the most stressful part of your sem, a friend u trust suddenly tells u all these without even thinking if it's based on sumthing ba or just because she was undergoing that time of month and being a little overly sensitive...
haay.. i don't need these right now... i really don't... i'm really grateful that i have this journal which no one knows coz it allows me to vent out stuff i'd rather keep to myself....
yesterday, I entered this old classroom of mine and proceeded to my seat. i saw my kabarkada, who happens to be my seatmate, and decided to chat with her. She replied in a manner unusual of her. Since it was her defense that afternoon, i thought maybe that was the reason why she was pissed... So i decided not to bother her anymore. Later that period, a classmate of ours talked to her and i noticed the difference in her treatment of our classmate from the way she treated me..
I let it slip my mind for the evening since my mind is preoccupied with schoolwork until i woke up today. I texted my other kabarkada, knowing she'd know if the other is mad or not. She told me that she's not mad naman daw but is naguguluhan coz there were times daw that i'm not namamansin whilst i do sometimes..
I texted the kabarkada asking why she was like that yesterday and this is what she told me...
"Well, m nt really mad medjo naguguluhan na ko sa yo na minsan nakakainis na. sbi mo we're frnds, na i shud be open e parng ndi mo ko kaibgan, minsan kakausapin mo minsan ndi. do frnds do that?and to think na i thought u wer one of my closest frnds. mnsan its as if ndi mo ko kabrkada. kng meron man cgurong person na id feel comfy with kaw un pero i fil d opsite wd u. ung tipong naiilang. dfinitely uv changed. cguro dpat masanay na ko. dnt get me wrong. ndi ako nagseselos or kng anoman sa frnds mo. cguro kakaiba lng cya 4 me kc nga kabrkada kta. im nt saying dis para makipagaway. cnasbi ko wt i thnk nd fil."
o diba? this is too much to take on a single blow, especially if i'm not aware at all that she was feeling that way pala.. she judged me merely because of an instance or two that i snubbed her. it's not my fault naman that i have more friends than her. nevertheless, i never treated her any lesser. i mean come on more than half my life she was already there and now because of this she's upset na... maybe at those times she thought i snubbed her, i was feeling bad, but did she care to know that? no, she just assumed.... she must think really low of me...
in fairness to my other kabarkada, who kept on tellinmg me na i should talk to the other, i did the texting first even if i feel that i didn't do anything wrong because she reiterated to me na sayang naman kung may patampu-tampuhan pa... although i feel na it's always me who does the apologizing, i did. but to be perfectly honest, i wasn't comfortable doing it kasi i was hurt and i feel innocent of those accusations.
what would u feel if on the most stressful part of your sem, a friend u trust suddenly tells u all these without even thinking if it's based on sumthing ba or just because she was undergoing that time of month and being a little overly sensitive...
haay.. i don't need these right now... i really don't... i'm really grateful that i have this journal which no one knows coz it allows me to vent out stuff i'd rather keep to myself....
posted by blueG @ 10:35 AM
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